I was reading this article on the, “10 men that single moms should avoid,” by Christine Coppa, the author of Rattled! (Broadway Books, 2009), a memoir about starting her journey as a single mom, and I couldn’t pass it up without offering my two cents. Of course, I want to hear from you too.
Christine is spot on and shares similar sentiments as I do. As single moms, we just are not afforded the time of an ordinary single woman looking for love and without the responsibilities of a little one. When we date, we’ve got to be certain that we are genuine, yet focused and productive. When you see a red flag, it’s important to take hard coded notes and run the opposite direction. No, this does not mean that every man on the planet is out to get you, but it simply means that you have to be focused on what’s acceptable and what is not. For example, it acceptable for him to infrequently smack his food, but it is not acceptable for him to whisper sweet nothings in your ear and the moment you turn your head, he’s texting another woman sweet nothings. As moms, we don’t have time for these games and should have a no tolerance policy in dating. We could care less about the man and his fancy bachelor pad, latest ride, or how large his bank account is. If he can’t bring conversations that include substance, you better run or you and your child will be subjected to his egotistical nonsense much longer than you prefer.
They key ingredients to look for when engaging with the opposite sex, in hopes that he’s ‘the one’ is to:
- His Faith
- His family dynamic
- His job/Is he career oriented
- Does he enjoy similar activities that you enjoy?
- Does his life consist of room for a child?
- Is he even interested in having kids?
- How does he feel about raising another man’s child?
I could go on and on, but in my experience I’ve found those top 7 to be the most important. I’ll just tell you now, if he is not down with #1, 6, or 7 he should kick rocks NOW!! I don’t care how attractive he is or how good he smelled when you met, let him GO!!!! He’s not for you or your child.
Great read by Christine, so glad I ran across it. LOVED it! So poignant, but fun to read. Make sure you check her out.