Who doesn’t want to get naked and have titillating,  steamy sex? It’s a no brainer,  but when that’s all you have to offer where is the true value and longevity? No one wants to be known as  a good lay…In fact, those memorable to a man or woman looking for something special, are the ones who took their time falling in love with the process and enjoying the nakedness of communication and friendship. Yes, you may remember John for “all” he was able to offer but what else? How long did his offerings truly last? Did his offering pay the bills, comfort you after a long day at work, give you security that things would be taken care of, protect you and your child(ren), and does it bring your peace?

Ladies don’t sell yourselves short when it comes to love. Live knowing that you deserve the finer things In life: pillow talk, support, friendship, unconditional love,  longevity, peace, companionship, laughter,  trust, prosperity, a partner in life, and security; all of which won’t be accumulated with the easy feet of your birthday suit and giving away your cupcakes.

We all long for the ability to put down all the walls that past failures and bad relationships have forced us to build. The moment I knew the difference between a bad relationship and a great one (heaven sent) I began to rethink how I went about loving my significant other. No, everyday isn’t peaches and cream but it’s a day we fight to love and befriend one another the way we deserve. I stopped looking and began to love myself,  and there he was gazing,  as my Grandmother would say,  and interested in getting to know me better. Neither of us knew what we were doing when we met; I was afraid of love after being burned so badly and had grown comfortable with my singleness,  and he was in and out of a serious relationship and playing the field in between. In other words, he wasn’t looking for me and I wasn’t looking for him but apparently God knew.  I ain’t even mad. Lol it’s what we assumed was happenstance,  yet in God’s eyes it was destiny. Because of what I’d been through in my previous relationship I was cautious, apprehensive to let go and love or allow him into my world. I played tough. I soon learned (a year after meeting him) that he was a good guy and punishing him for another man’s mistakes wasn’t the right thing to do. I had an epiphany and in that moment I was ready to get naked (no not literally)! He deserved my time and space, my patience, and my trust;  he’d earned all the above and more.

My Best Friend & Lover Of My Soul
My Best Friend & Lover Of My Soul
Love someone you can be completely uninhibited with!
Love someone you can be completely uninhibited with!

It was difficult because I had to proceed with caution, as I was dating for my daughter and me.  I considered her in every move that I’d made (single moms you better consider your child (ren) when dating). If your kids don’t vibe,  you move on period! I had to know that my baby was already disappointed by her biological father and didn’t deserve the disappointment of another man she loved.  It took me a year and a half to introduce them, but well worth it. He was patient and so was I. We did dates as a group so that I could witness their connection and protect my little girl’s heart at the same time. He was great with her, expressed his fears of Fatherhood (he doesn’t have any biological kids), and we worked through everything as friends first. I love my little family and see the value of taking off your emotional clothes first before any other articles are taken off.

Daddy & His baby girl

I’m living proof of patience, confidence, and transparency. Men and women stick around when you know you’re own worth and value it more than that of their presence. So the next time you contemplate laying down as your first course of action with Mr. Right or Wrong, weigh the value in that stance versus holding out and getting naked with your fears, aspirations,  failures,  and inner most thoughts. Don’t you want to know if someone will love you at your worst or get in the trenches with you? Now that should make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Now don’t take your emotional clothes off too fast either. Only give your all to the one who’s worth it, which means you’ll have to exercise patience, grasshopper!

Slow and steady wins the race

Are you ready to see yourself naked?


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