The apple of my eye turned 7 this past May, in fact I launched my website on her birthday. I’m huge on numbers, particularly the number 7, it’s the number of completion. I wanted my website and business to be significant in her life too; I wouldn’t be here without her. Her turning 7 also signifies her being “evicted” from mommy’s bed. While I’ve enjoyed our 7 year cuddle time, it’s time we both grow up and sleep in our big girl beds alone. I have learned much about my own strength as a single mom, but I’d be kidding myself and you if I said I didn’t desire to be married and have my best friend lying next to me. Many ask me if I’ll be able to still relate to the single mom once I’m married. Your answer is unequivocally, yes! I’ve lived and breathed this role for 7 years and counting. My marriage won’t discredit my ability to understand the plight of a single mommy.
Let me note, she went from her crib to her own QUEEN bed. She’s never wanted to sleep in it nor have I required her to. Have I been over compensating for Dad missing? I think so. Part of my being felt guilty for the position I’d required my little girl to be in. I failed at giving her the stability of a two – parent home provides; however, my better half knows that dysfunction ain’t it either. Moms, our kiddos don’t deserve two parents at odds everyday of their lives, nor an example that is not conducive to a positive representation of what the man is supposed to bring to a family. Know when to walk away and know that productivity can be produced in co-parenting. There’s no error in two adults acknowledging they just aren’t healthy for one another, and should live separate lives- I don’t for a moment admit to this being the circumstances of my spilt with my little one’s Dad (I’ll follow up on that story in my upcoming book, stay tuned).
This year, Zari and I face our fears of no longer having one another as a security blanket and we move forward. I have peace knowing she’s just next door, she’s safe, she’s loved, she’s happy, and she’s mine. Is your little one still in your bed for the same reason? If so, share with me and other moms. We want to hear that we are not alone. There’s no shame in acknowledging you still have hurdles to overcome in your journey, it’s the first step in true healing and victory. I encourage you to share more of your journey with your sister – you’ll find you’re not alone and find the conversation therapeutic. I can’t wait to hear all about your triumphs!