As we prepare for the day of love, better known as Valentine’s Day, we should focus on its real meaning. Mainstream media pedals chocolates, flowers, teddy bears, and the like. All of it, quite frankly, matters not. What’s one day of sweets, flowers that will wither in days, and a bear that will soon collect dust, if it’s superficial and love on autopilot? I don’t know about you but I want a love that is unconditional, not relying on a manufactured holiday to bring me temporary ‘bliss’ or fill my heart with something that’s not truly there.

I spent relationship after relationship looking forward to this day, for all the wrong reasons. The last 5 years of my life have given me new meaning to the holiday. I don’t focus on the gifts or dinner, but the feeling he gives me 365! Any real relationships should feel like the Rollercoaster of a lifetime – experiencing many highs and sometimes bracing yourself for the loops (just keeping it real). If you haven’t experienced any loops in your relationship, you’re dating the person’s representative, not who they truly are. A real relationship is work! Period.

The other side of this is recognizing broken relationships. You know, when the Roller Coaster comes to a screeching halt and you pretend that you don’t have whiplash just so you can ride again. You simply need to get the hell off.  Staying in your seat, hoping not to be noticed by the one running the ride (God), only to go back around for another turn is ludacris . Did you not see the line waiting to get on (potential suitors who could love the authentic you)? Allow someone else to get on and see how they like the ride. Perhaps it’s time you stood in line for another Roller Coaster and stopped focusing on the one that’s out of service, if it’s broken then fix it. God will always give you ‘a new thing’ if you just trust him.


I’ve been on a beautiful Roller Coaster with my Beau for some time now. One that others aren’t welcome to ride on, it’s important that we protect what we have and stay in sync with one another. We’ve got our rhythm down – it’s just for us. I appreciate being in the trenches with him and having him ride next to me, in support of my dreams. He appreciates that from me as well. Allow someone to find beauty in your loops, joy in your dips, and to oil your chains when you’re not running smoothly – be sure to return the favor.

Focus on what’s important and fight for each other. The gifts will come and go, but a real relationship is the gift that keeps on giving. Would you like a bear and flowers or one thing that lasts forever? Be careful in how you respond because you must be willing to reciprocate your desires. Don’t ask of someone what you are unwilling to provide.

Check out 8 poignant tips from Trent Shelton, as he walks you through the truth of a real relationship and how it won’t fail, if you keep these in mind. He saved the best for last!

What gift will you give this Valentine’s Day, that a price tag can’t be placed on?

It all starts with loving yourself! 

Happy Valentine’s Day, Peeps!


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