Because I recognize I am not the only one praying the prayer of, “God show me,” I’m sharing what was poured into my soul (an unexpected blog)! It’s been a rough few days for me and I’ve sat quietly in my own thoughts, ensuring I was able to stay in a space of encouraging you. Often those of us who are viewed as “strong” don’t often rely on other nor share our pain, but that would result in me being a hypocrite. How can I ask you “are you ready to see yourself naked” when I haven’t the slightest desire to do the very thing I ask of you?
Last Thursday, I was having the time of my life fulfilling a dream I have dreamt of for a while – serving as press for a major conference. I was in my element, making some amazing connections, interviewing women I’ve experienced solely through television; never thinking I’d be face-to-face interviewing them. The mere fact that I’m able to share the experience with you, my naked fam, is a dream come true.
Well, on my drive home the insurance company called me to inform me of an accident involving my vehicle; the first of me hearing it. My family knew how important this moment was for me and didn’t want to break my focus; hence the reason they didn’t call. I left for Austin at 4am Thursday morning in my sister’s car. We’d switched cars because her car was more economical to drive vs. my SUV. My heart immediately skipped a beat because I hadn’t heard from her and I knew she was picking her up from school. All I could think of there’s no way I’m going through this thing called life without her or my baby. A million questions began to go through my head… Are they okay? Where are they? Why is he calling me and not her? All I remember is telling him I couldn’t talk to him right now, the truck was the least of my worries, and I need to find my sister and daughter. Needless to say, our conversation abruptly ended. I had nothing further to say or hear regarding a material object that’s replaceable.
Today, when TaJuan “Teej” Mercer posted her facebook video she had no idea what I was dealing with, but God did. I thank her for being obedient, being his vessel, in letting me know everything would work itself out and it’s all a part of his Devine plan. Nothing is too big for him. I can’t and won’t apologize for being “spiritual ” or telling you how good he is to me because he deserves my unconditional praise. I’ll never deny his presence in my life.
I, like TeeJ, can be extremely hard on myself, be a perfectionist, but sometimes I have to come to grips with the fact that I’m no Olivia Pope. Once again, this one is all the big man. He’s never failed me before. I am able to see the bright side of things because of Tee J’s video (God’s divine messaging), and I’m so proud of her for doing this. I want to share with you because it blessed me so much, and my hope is that it does the same for you.
I spent the weekend with my parents and celebrating my Aunt’s 60th birthday, with our family. I was able to speak to her and give her flowers while she can smell them; a privilege I don’t take for granted and glad my cousins asked me to do. I’m just grateful the God I serve has allowed me another day with my sister to give her hers, and that I’m not visiting her in a hospital or making arrangements to say goodbye. My truck was a symbol of my hard work, a gift from my parents after receiving my Bachelor’s degree. It was mine and no one could take it away. I don’t own much, but what I do own I cherish dearly. While my faith tells me that it’s just material and life is so much bigger than that, my human side says but that’s the one thing that was mine and now what. I briefly felt like someone had snatched a rug from under me, but through TeeJ’s video God reminded me to be still and let him upgrade me. All I could think of was the timing isn’t right, I’m chasing my dream and investing in it, and who wants a car payment? Hey, I’m just being naked with you. I quickly realized that God’s timing is EVERYTHING and perfect, indeed. I’m grateful for what I can’t see because my 2014 has been something else. If the best is yet to come, I’ll need some new seat belts to buckle up for this ride.
Thanks TeeJ! XOXO